Mayhem x Mischief

Stupendous Man

It’s a bird! It’s a plane!

No! It is Stupendous Man!

After a much needed vacation from a life of crime fighting, our superhero has found himself once again called into duty by the tippity tapping noises of ill reputed and nefarious law breaking criminals. A lesser superhero would cower in terror and hide underneath the bed upon discovering that the kingpins of his fair and lovely city have somehow managed to infiltrate his secret lair under the darkness of night.

But this is Stupendous Man. He fears no evil. He hears no evil. And if evil were to show its ugly face, he would take it down with the uzi of Justice and Righteousness.

In fact, Stupendous Man is reloading his uzi as we speak, slinking out of his bed and darting through the darkened caverns of his beloved home.

A beam of light radiates from the farthest reaches of his sanctuary and taking evasive action, our intrepid hero slithers through the hallway, making certain not to step on the creaky floorboard or step on the iguana as he silently and stealthily makes his way towards the mainframe of his superhero computer.

And there, under the reedy light of a small lamp, Stupendous Man sights the prey villian mastermind.

Except! Once again our hero has been foiled by the powers of darkness. For there, sitting on a stool, chewing rather noisily on the end of a pencil is not an archenemies at all. No, the masterminds of darkness are on to him!

They’ve sent a gigolo.

Gaping, Stupendous Man is astonished by their audacity. How dare they send a greek god to tempt him into a life of crime? Do they imagine him incapable of thinking with his big head?

Narrowing his eyes, our horny superhero sneaks in closer to get a better look at the hottie further spy on the enemy turned gigolo. He wonders, briefly, how far the enemy is willing to go for the sake of crime and destruction. And would it be considered a conflict of interests for Stupendous Man to take full advantage of the situation for his own purposes?

Pulling his cape closer around him, Stupdendous Man walks up behind the gigolo just as the blond haired god attempts to hack through his private database of naked porn pictures he’s drawn artistic nudes. There is the worry of the gigolo catching him before he can complete his mission, but again, Stupendous Man is onto the despicable plot.

Also, the enemy come gigolo has not been smart enough to turn down the Starwars soundtrack that is currently blasting through his headphones and has no idea of the dangers in which he currently finds himself in.

Coiling, Stupendous Man crouches before brazenly attacking, “AH HA!”

“GYAHHH!!!” Evil Gigolo yelps loudly as Stupendous man wrestles him to the floor, the headphones popping off as Stupendous Man’s surprise attack is successful.

“I caught you!” Stupendous Man gloats as he sits a top of the greek god’s abs and pins his wrists to the floor.

“You know, if you’re going to draw naked pictures of me, I think I should have the right to look at them every once in a while too, Calvin. ”

“So you admit that you have a hot body and that you want to see yourself naked?” Stupendous Man arches an eyebrow, ignoring the fact that Evil gigolo has somehow managed to see through his disguise and guess his secret identity.

“No, I just wanted to see what it was that you were so fascinated with on the computer. You didn’t come to bed until three last night, you were so enthralled with it.”

“See, I didn’t stay up until three looking at naked pictures of you. Why would I when I could just wake you up and have my wicked way with you? No, I was more interested in the file labeled ‘Naked_Hobbes_Pics’.”

“Er, you weren’t supposed to find those.” Evil Gigolo blushes and Stupendous Man comes to the realization that this is Evil Gigolo’s SECRET WEAPON OF DOOM!

“You have a digital camera set up somewhere in our room.”

“Hey, not all of us can use our photographic memories and artistic abilities to produce our porn.” Evil Gigolo’s Blush Power is too much for our erect hero, and Stupendous Man feels himself being pulled forward by the beam of Supreme Hotness that is Evil Gigolo’s mutant power.

But! Our hero is not without super sex powers of his own! Within moments, the tide has turned and it is Evil Gigolo who is writhing for release and begging for mercy at Stupendous Man’s infamous blowjob tactics.

“Wanna see the real thing instead of a grainy digital pic?”

“Sure, and then you can explain the cape, the water pistol and why you’ve been mumbling under your breath for the last fifteen minutes after we’re done.”

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